Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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