Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
