They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
