He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she looked like the before picture.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
