my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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