you would pick up someone in the library
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
