and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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