I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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