Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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