Nicole vs. Life
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
