I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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