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• (206): View more from Washington

  sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.

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• (212): View more from New York

  the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."

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• (323): View more from California

  Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits

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• (805): View more from California

  my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse

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