Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter

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  (954): You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter http://tfl.nu/xmwz
  Replies (17) Good night (2144) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.

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  (954): Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay. http://tfl.nu/sog2
  Replies (45) Good night (900) Bad night (2240)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special

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  (303): i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special http://tfl.nu/5558
  Replies (40) Good night (3640) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING

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  (404): just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING http://tfl.nu/vg2h
  Replies (18) Good night (5933) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone

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  (219): By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone http://tfl.nu/czmq
  Replies (8) Good night (4075) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

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  (734): Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window. http://tfl.nu/6pvh
  Replies (35) Good night (1626) Bad night (8638)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.

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  (484): dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER. http://tfl.nu/xj2d
  Replies (5) Good night (2844) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina

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  (313): I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina http://tfl.nu/zo54
  Replies (5) Good night (2971) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.

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  (785): Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid. http://tfl.nu/egf9
  Replies (7) Good night (2159) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants

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  (416): looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants http://tfl.nu/ig1q
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches

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  (604): You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches http://tfl.nu/88ib
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep

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  (774): I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep http://tfl.nu/07gg
  Replies (6) Good night (1980) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it

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  (413): You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it http://tfl.nu/hn11
  Replies (6) Good night (1129) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.

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  (616): I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers. http://tfl.nu/1m5q
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.

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  (206): Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here. http://tfl.nu/36ym
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (250)

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