I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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