Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!