I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
