Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize