it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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