why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize