your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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