Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
