Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.

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(404): View more from Georgia

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely

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(910): View more from North Carolina

So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?

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(614): View more from Ohio

Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?

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(949): View more from California

And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex

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(309): View more from Illinois

Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while

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