I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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