did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
