a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
