i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
