the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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