I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
