I must be too annoying 4 u.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
