they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
