Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
