I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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