you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.