Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
