now i know why i became what i already was.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You pole danced in your parka.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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