Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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