woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
