nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your penis caused this!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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