only if we run a train.
done.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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