I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
