at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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