We're like a lot better than the average bears
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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