if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize