I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
