he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i've created a new STD.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
