they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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