I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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