i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
