How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
