Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
