why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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