im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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