just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
