i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
