I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
