She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
