i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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