Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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