none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
