I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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