You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Enjoy the penises
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
