they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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