Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize