I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my being single is dangerous.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
